Just published: The Great American Tilly and Elmer Novel !

It took me five years to get Tilly and Elmer to tell me the sordid, sweet, kinky, delightful, shocking, and romantic tale of their experiences in divergent colleges 2000 miles apart during their college days, but now here's the inside story. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll scratch your head in amazement. You'll wonder why you wasted $5.99 on this trash! Get your copy before they sell out - oh, wait - eBooks never sell out! Still, get your copy. Your iPad or Kindle will be delighted and you won't have to worry about leaving the paperback on the coffee table where the wrong people might see it! (Yes, the Paperback is coming one of these days.)

Available NOW at:
Smashwords
​Amazon
​Tilly and Elmer, high school sweethearts from South Branch, Iowa, tearfully depart for disparate colleges in San Francisco and Cedar Falls where they encounter wildly divergent experiences, and sex, with a menagerie of new lovers. Distance, diversity, and dubious dalliances turn their love to disdain. Then they’re imprisoned together in an old pickup on a long, troublesome road trip back home.

50% off sale on:
The Sexy Seniors of South Branch, Coming of Age in South Branch, Tilly and Elmer's Carnal Calendar, The Shady Side of South Branch,  Let's Tryst Again, and Virgil's Reality
​at Smashwords March 7 through March 13.

Throughout 2021, I'll be publishing a new story every other Tuesday from the Shady Side of South Branch collection. These eBooks are free at Smashwords, Apple, Barnes and Noble and elsewhere - and .99 at Amazon. Each will only be available for two weeks, although you can download the entire collection at once for just a few bucks if you can't wait, missed some, or don't want to take time to download them one at a time.  (See Below for half off coupon at Smashwords)

Available 3/2/21
Claire and Mary Ann, old friends from school, have reconnected and discovered a sweet romantic attraction between them. Expressing this requires a certain level of caution in their hometown of South Branch, Iowa, but a weekend together in the Windy City allows them to throw caution to the wind and discover dozens of new and delightful dalliances.

Now available as an eBook (See Discount Coupon Below) or in paperback:  The Shady Side of South Branch

Long time readers of the Tilly and Elmer stories know by now that they don't have to worry (too much) about Tilly and Elmer getting themselves into anything too shocking. But the little town of South Branch, like most small towns, is teeming with folks who are interested in scandalous behavior. And they engage in such behavior whenever they think their neighbors aren't looking!
The Shady Side of South Branch - 28 stories that Will have You Rolling on the Floor
And Sometimes Laughing!
  • The patrons of "Claire's Hair Affair". Claire has a small room over her beauty shop that she rents out by the hour to various characters like Mary Ann, the town librarian who is having an affair with the mayor (and Claire as it turns out).
  • Sue and Bobby, the cutest young couple in South Branch, whose parents won't let them sleep together. This means they have to be imaginative about finding venues for their lovemaking. Sometimes they make unfortunate choices!
  • Reverend Goode, the creepy preacher of South Branch.
  • Hank and Bridget work out of their home in a damaged camping trailer - as night watchmen in a junkyard. They are the ringmasters of a group of fun-loving rapscallions known as "The Junkyard Cats"!
  • The ladies of Hardwood Pointe, a retirement community where some of the retirees like to play more than bridge!
  • AND MORE...
Find the complete e-book here: ($4.99)
Smashwords (50% off at Smashwords with Coupon Code AG74F)
Apple
Amazon
Barnes & Noble
Kobo

And in Paperback at Amazon
Unbelievable! Tilly and Elmer titles have been downloaded  over 17,000 times! And they said I couldn't GIVE this stuff away - HA!   (OK, many of them ARE free - but still!)
NEW!
#8

Naughty Bedtime Stories to Keep You Awake!

Barbara avoided going to the dentist whenever possible. She found the experience frightening and stressful, as many do, and the idea that it could ever be fun and sexy seemed impossible, until her friend Shelly told her about Dr. Brennan. And when the handsome Robert welcomed her to Dr. Brennen’s luxurious office and offered her a Mojito, she began to think Shelly could be right.

​Smashwords (Free)
​Apple iBooks (Free)
​Barnes & Noble (Free)
​Kobo (Free)
Amazon $.99 

New Short Story Collection!
28 Erotic and funny short stories that will have you rolling on the floor - and sometimes laughing.

Picture
Welcome to South Branch, a made-up town in Southeastern Iowa, which stands in here for many midwestern small towns: charming, friendly, proud, and with a comfortable aura of remembered history and a pleasant patina of deferred maintenance. The older men meet in the mornings at Pearl’s Downtown Diner to discuss the state of the world, the price of soybeans, the superiority of older cars they can fix themselves, the revisionist history of their romantic exploits from sixty years ago, and to complain about “kids today,” just like their fathers did sixty years ago. There’s a sense of community, a slow pace, and a thin veneer of prudence and prudery. People who live here, within the embrace of a horseshoe bend in the South Branch of Mosquito Creek (which the locals call “Skeeter Crick”), love the place, even though they agree it used to be better in nearly every way back when they were twenty.
Like any human settlement, South Branch has its share of secrets, desires, and incidents that most participants hope will not become common knowledge, and, like most secrets, these, or some incomplete, incorrect, minimized, or exaggerated version of them, quickly become part of the town’s breaking news. These secrets fade into vague memory fragments over time as fresh gossip becomes the entertainment of the day. In spite of the whispers and raised eyebrows, the hearers of these stories divide themselves, somewhat randomly, into those who are inwardly horrified by what they’ve heard, and those who are inwardly envious of the miscreants. Sometimes these responses do battle in the same person.
Even though the South Branch Sentinel comes out every week, the most interesting news in South Branch travels faster than the boys and girls on their bicycles who deliver the paper. If a young lady is smoking in the alley behind the hardware store, dad will know about it before she gets home, whereupon he’ll light up a cigarette and admonish her against the practice. Part of the attraction of these small towns is that everyone knows, or at least suspects, even the most discrete indiscretion on the part of their neighbors; that’s also what some people find repulsive about these places. Every nuance of scandal wafts over South Branch, enlivening the conversation at Pearl’s, the gossip at Claire’s Hair Affair, the tipsy talk at Rosalie’s Palm, and even, or especially, the whispered revelations at Reverend Goode’s “Salivation [sic]Station.”
What follows is a collection of short stories, completely made up, I hasten to say. Most of these stories center on particular people and places, along with a talented supporting cast. A word of caution for those who have read the earlier South Branch stories about Tilly and Elmer – you should know that Tilly and Elmer, fans of frisky fun as they are, find some of the shady characters and events in this book scandalous and shocking! Until they read this book, they had never thought of, much less engaged in, any of the more outrageous undertakings of their neighbors. Nevertheless, you can be sure everyone in these stories is enjoying him or herself, and no characters were harmed in the writing of these tales!

Find it at:
Smashwords
Apple
Amazon
Barnes and Noble

Now available as an eBook, an Audiobook, or in paperback! Tilly and Elmer's Carnal Calendar Series - the complete collection!

​Tilly and Elmer’s Carnal Calendar, Twelve Tales of Risky, Frisky Mischief! The complete series of humorous and sexy adventures involving Tilly and Elmer, a Midwestern couple in their early seventies. They’ve been married for close to fifty years, they still like each other, and they know what to do about it! The short stories in this series are about celebration! Tilly and Elmer love to celebrate holidays, from Valentine’s Day to National Bourbon Day. They’re always in the mood to celebrate, and the somehow the celebration always involves their continuing attempts to behave like eighteen year olds. The attempts don’t always work as planned, but they are always romantic, funny, and frisky!
For now, the individual stories in the Tilly and Elmer's Carnal Calendar Series are still available individually at the usual places. You can now save time and wear and tear on your clicking finger however, by downloading the entire dozen stories at once! 
eBook available at:
Amazon $5.99
​Smashwords $5.99
Barnes and Noble $5.99
​
Now Available in Paperback!
Amazon $11.95
AND as an Audiobook!
​
​Get it at:
Audible $14.95 (Click Here to get it free when you join Audible)
Amazon $14.95
Apple $9.99

Sweet and funny erotic short stories!

Welcome to the world of Tilly and Elmer, a midwestern couple in their late sixties. They've been married for nearly fifty years, they still like each other, and they know what to do about it! The stories you'll find here are sweet, funny, nostalgic, and a little bit dirty. Sometimes more than a little!
Tilly and Elmer (The Sexy Seniors of South Branch and Tilly and Elmer's Carnal Calendar) aren't likely to do anything THAT shocking, although their high school romance, (Coming of Age in South Branch) could raise an eyebrow or two, as well as some fond memories!
Tilly and Elmer's fellow citizens in South Branch, Iowa however (The Shady Side of South Branch) are not nearly as straight laced! Even I was shocked at some of the antics those characters got themselves into! Browse around to learn more about these and other similar stories! 
Written and illustrated by Gene Clements. 

Series:     Tilly and Elmer - The Sexy Seniors of South Branch

Ten fictional short stories chronicling the humorous, romantic, and erotic adventures of Tilly and Elmer, a midwestern couple in their late sixties. They haven't been eighteen for a half century, but that doesn't seem to slow them down when it comes to naughty mischief.

These individual short stories are available free for any ebook reader. Links can be found HERE. The complete collection can be downloaded for a few dollars from the same retailers.

If you prefer an actual book, the "expanded collection" of Tilly and Elmer - The Sexy Seniors of South Branch can be found in paperback at Amazon.

AND - If your friend is about to turn 60 - the minimum age for reading Tilly and Elmer - the Sexy Seniors COLORING BOOK would make a great birthday gift! Get one for yourself too! Find it HERE.

Reader Review: "Yiayia, my grandma, found this to be racy but hysterical! It brightened up her birthday!!! lol"
Short Story Titles:
Skinny-Dipping Scandal
50th Class Reunion
Tilly and Elmer Go to Las Vegas
Tilly and Elmer Get Crazy
Truck Tryst
Tilly and Elmer  -in-  Decent Exposure
Tilly and Elmer - Snug as Two Bugs
Tilly and Elmer Trip Out
Tilly and Elmer Get Warmed Up
Tilly's Afternoon Delight

Series / Novella:     Tilly and Elmer - Coming of Age in South Branch

You may have wondered how much more adventuresome Tilly and Elmer must have been as teenagers! Now it can be revealed! In the Tilly and Elmer FlashbackX series, our favorite sexagenarians describe, in sometimes hilarious and sometimes scandalous detail, their slow motion coming of age in the Midwest in the early sixties. From their clumsy first date to the first time they go “all the way” (on the second try), you’ll gasp at Elmer’s inexperience, smile at Tilly’s (real or faked?) innocence, and perhaps shed a tear of recognition at the blundering beauty of their first time.

Since the stories are presented in chronological order, my wonderful editor, Elizabeth Johnson, gently pointed out that I couldn't just smush them together into a book; for it to work, I really had to rewrite the collection as a novella. She was right as usual. The result was Coming of Age in South Branch, available as an ebook or in paperback.
The eleven original short stories are still available free for any ebook reader.
Links can be found HERE.
​
And, of course, I couldn't resist doing another adult coloring book. Try not to get distracted as you color!
Coloring Book available at AMAZON
Short Story (and chapter) Titles:
Is That Your Thigh I'm Squeezing?
Falling for a Kiss
Punch Drunk on Love
The Breast Laid Plans
Prom Night and Spanish Olives
Skinny-Dipping Naked with No Clothes On
Emission Accomplished
The First "First Time"
Strokes of Luck
The Coming of Spring
Wide Awake at the Sleeptite Motel

Tilly and Elmer's Carnal Calendar (Now available collected in one volume!)

More humorous and sexy adventures involving Tilly and Elmer. The short stories in this series are about celebration! Tilly and Elmer love to celebrate holidays, from Valentine’s Day to National Bourbon Day. They’re always in the mood to celebrate, and somehow the celebration always involves their continuing attempts to behave like eighteen year olds. The attempts don’t always work as planned, but they are always romantic, funny, and frisky!
These stories are not only available as ebooks! I'm trying something new by offering them as AUDIOBOOKS on Audible, Amazon, and Apple iBooks!

​You can find links to all of these HERE
Short Story Titles:
•Tilly and Elmer's Unruly Resolutions
•Valentine Monkeyshines
•April Foolishness​
•Hooray! Hooray! The First of May
•June Monsoon
•Fourth of July Fireworks
•A Fair Affair
•Tilly and Elmer - And Martha
•Anniversary Tease on the High Seas
•Tilly and Elmer's Old Haunts
​•Tilly and Elmer's Thanksgiving - An Unseemly   Scene with Warm Whipped Cream
•Tilly's Christmas Surprise
The entire collection is available in one e-book volume here:
Amazon $5.99
​Smashwords $5.99
And in Paperback:
Amazon $11.95
Now as an Audiobook!
Audible $14.95 (Click Here to get it free when you join Audible)
Amazon $14.99
Apple $9.99

Novella:     Let's Tryst Again

Picture
Tilly's cousin, Carol, and her old friend Sam, meet twice a year for a week of uninhibited frolic! In the summer they meet at Sam's secluded cottage in the woods of Michigan; in the winter, Carol plans a week of fun for them at an exciting urban location which she keeps secret from Sam until the last minute.
Let's Tryst Again chronicles a week at Sam's where their outrageous shenanigans have even the squirrels blushing! You will too!

​Find links to retailers HERE
Unbelievable! Tilly and Elmer titles have been downloaded  over 16,000 times!
And they said I couldn't GIVE this stuff away - HA!

(OK, many of them ARE free - but still!)

What readers are saying:

• "It’s only funny because it’s true... Tilly and Elmer are a hoot!"

• "I read it, then I had to share it with my wife, now we are going to read all of them together. Cute book thanks :)"

• "Funny sex story involving the “older” generation! A must read for us 50 something’s! Gives me hope!"

• "Great funny fun story. The pictures are super, especially how they work alongside the narrative. "

• "Personal opinion - I would like to see more of this erotica dealing with seniors. As a senior myself, I know that sex does not end at 40. Also this author shows the feelings of the characters, often forgotten or ignored in most erotica today."

• Read Naoko Smith's review of Book 2 in the FlashbackX series, "Falling for a Kiss" on http://feministerotica.blogspot.co.uk

•"The last story in The Sexy Seniors of South Branch, 'Tilly's Afternoon Delight', is a masterpiece!"

Written and Illustrated by Gene Clements

• Gene's author page on Amazon
• Read an interview with Gene on Smashwords